The 5 things that anyone regret before die

Today i was reading about an article where a nurse who used  to work with patients who decided to die at home, share her experience of real life.

The article mention that her used to stay with them the lasts 3-12 weeks before die.

She said “ the people mature a lot when meet them mortality. I learnt to do not undervalue the capability of one person to grow. With each of them i experienced a variety of emotions. The hope, the reject, the fear, the anger, the regret, the denial and at the and the acceptation. However, anyone before leave,  found the peace in him/her-self.” 

At the question of which one were the regrets they had o anything else they would like to be able to change, these five were the most commons:

(In yellow parts of the article)

1- I Would like had the courage to live a life devote to myself, and not had lived the life the others wanted for me: this was the most common regret of everyone. When the people realised their life is at the end and they started to look backwards, they face their unsatisfied dreams. Most of them didn’t even reach half of their dreams, and was hard accept to die knowing this fact was made from the choices they did or didn't in their life. 

And this is what also this blog want talk about it, yeah because i just want to show my choices of traveling, my choices of challenging the unknown, because i don’t want arrive at the end of my life, maybe having even 100 years but with all regrets to have not lived the life i wanted to live, live the life the society want for us, live like a slave of invisible chains made by our own brain and from what the society impose to us. 

Yeah because these limits are made yes by  the common sense of living a stable life, studying to find a good job, working to have money, have money to buy so many things that we don’t really need, (but these are products of the consumerism era we are living), until we die, and only at that moment we have to realise we were living a life we didn’t really choose.

Well i don’t want this for ME, and i also don’t want this for YOU. 

So stop, and think, "is really this what i want for MY LIFE?"

If the answer is NO, well start to think to a solution, yeah because i don’t want focus the mind on the problem, the philosophy i chose for my life is “do not think about the problem, but try to find the solution”.

Yes because any problems have many solutions, so we just need to focus our mind to find the right solution for us.

If the answer of the previous question is YES, well(if you’re honest with yourself), you’re on the right path to achieve a great and valuable life, and probably at the end, you will not have regrets or you will have it but much less compare of the people who choose to continue on the path of a unsatisfied life.

2 - I Wish i hadn’t work so much in my life :this was a thinking of every male patient. They missed the childhood of their kids and the good moments to share with their wife. All of them regret to lived a only work life.

This regret is connected with the previous one.

Nowadays the people gave so much important value to the money, and they choose to spend their life chasing richness, without understanding they are wasting their time, undervaluing more important things like their family.

We have to understand that the money are not everything, and the time we have in our life is much more important than a mere thing as money is.

We have to understand money is just a concept made from human to make easier the exchange of goods, and not what the present society think about it, because i see people who venerate the money as a god, and they choose to live a life of work to pursuit a pure veneration of their god, maybe unconsciously.

We have to understand our time is more important than money, yes, because if you lose your money you can always earn it again in the future, but, the time, yes your time, well if you waste your time you cannot have it back, so it’s better stop again and think, is this how i want spend my time, my precious time? Do i need so much money to be happy? Or i just need less money but more time to spend with people who i really care?

And this consideration it can be expressed even in more wide term, for example spending more time doing something make us happy, like travel, spending time with friends, enjoying moment with your pet, doing some sport and any other hobbies you have.

3 - I wished to have the courage to express my sentiments : many people suppress their sentiments to keep a peaceful life with the others. As result, they settled in a mediocre existence and they never become what they could be. Many diseases grow up because of the resentment who provokes that consciousness.

We always have to stand up and give ours opinion, we don’t have to live scared to be judged or to argue with someone if we think in a different way, sometimes discuss about a problem in the right way can take the situation in a better path and we were feeling  better because we’re pursuing our inner self, who is really important because is the “person” with you will coexist for your whole life.

This way will also lead you to get rid off all of the unhealthy relationship you have in your life.

So in any cases you will win.

A more clear example is made by the situation that many young people lives in everyday life, in fact feeling the pressure of the parents, they make choices for their life based on what the parents want for them.

I choose to travel, and here, i'm supporting the "umbrella revolution", a touch full movement born during the protest in Hong Kong 2014, they decide to rebel against the government 

But we have to find our power to stand up for our rights, yes because this is our life, and we have to be able to pursuit something we really like, what we really want.

So same of before, stop and think, then make the right decision, and fight for your rights, express yourself, always.

4- I wish i had spent more time with my friends: often we realise which are the real benefits that the old friends can give it to you, only after weeks in the hospital. Many of the patients have been so busy with their life (or maybe their job) that they had abandoned their old friendships. Anyone miss their friends when is dying.

And this is just another variation of the second regret.

As i was writing before, we have to understand more the value of our time, and decide how we have to spend it and not how we have to waste it.

5 - I wish to had allowed myself to be happier: this is another common regret. Many of them don’t realise until the very end that the HAPPINESS IS a CHOICE.

They were stuck in old schemes and routines, they feel safe in their comfortable zone, and they are scared about the changes they could do in their life, and they lived a life for others without doing what they really wanted for themselves in their own life.

Here i'm with Mali, a Lao's kid of the kindergarten February 2015

As i was saying in the second point, we have to understand what make us happy, and follow the path that includes these things.

You should stop, take pen and a paper (do this small exercise), then start to think, what make me happy, what i really like to do?

When you find something, write it on the paper, for example i discovered that i like travel, i like writing, i like taking pictures, i like kids, and others things, but if i have to analyse my life at the moment i would say i’m pretty happy, and this is why : I’m traveling since i left Australia, i finally started to write my blog, my travels make me possible to take interesting pictures to show the world while i’m away, and while i decided to extend my staying in Laos (i will stay another month) i decide to help as volunteer in a Kindergarten where i can be in contact with kids and learn about teaching ( the kindergarten use a Montessori’s Program, that i found really interesting).

Of course to make this sort of things i decided to get out from my comfortable zone and challenged myself.

I decided to get out from my routine, i first left Italy to star my adventure in Australia, then after Australia i set up another challenge to myself, and now i'm here in Laos, not for long, in one month for example i will start again to hitchhike, trying to reach the Laos/Vietnam border, to explore the next country.

Then is YOUR CHOICE to you make your life HAPPY.